


Different

by manhattxn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ajan Kloss, Boyfriends, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Poe Dameron, Jedi Finn (Star Wars), Jedi Rey (Star Wars), M/M, One Shot, Post TROS, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:07:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21976234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manhattxn/pseuds/manhattxn
Summary: "General,""General,"- - -In which a pilot and an ex-stormtrooper deal with their different world now that the First Order is gone.[Post TROS]  [this is a series of one shots none of which are super connected but they all exist in the same time frame]
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 4
Kudos: 156





	1. Chapter 1

Ajan Kloss felt different. In the days after Rey's return from Exegol and the defeat of the First Order, the Resistance base was buzzing with life. Families reunited and parties were thrown not just on Ajan Kloss, but across the entire galaxy. The universe rejoiced in it's freedom. But, as always, the parties ended and somehow the looming routine of normal life resumed.

Finn stood stoically in the shadow of the Millennium Falcon. He watched as transport vessels took in now-retired Resistance troops and flew away to return them all to their home planets. Corelia, Coruscant, Yavin 4, Naboo... A small panic had settled in Finn's chest. Something told him this was wrong- they shouldn't be leaving. Finn's subconscious tugged at the logical side of him with the threat of another impending doom. He couldn't quite grasp that it was over. Because for him, ever since he was a child, stolen away from his mother's arms, it was never over. For a stormtrooper, the work was never finished. There was always more to do, more threats to squash, more people to intimidate. More, always.

"Woohoo!" Whooped a voice in the distance. The holler snapped Finn out of his reeling thoughts. He looked up to find the source of such a happy noise.

Poe Dameron stood in the middle of the run way joined by Chewbacca, C-3PO, R2-D2, and BB8. He was jumping up and down and cheering up at a transport that was leaving the atmosphere. Chewie let out a classic Wookie yell and R2 made what was probably a droid's best impression of a Wookie. Finn couldn't help but smile. Poe always found the joy in things.

When the ship shot into light speed, Poe turned away from the horizon. Finn could tell Poe caught sight of him quickly. He gave Chewbacca a great hug and saluted the droids before he started up to Finn and the Falcon.

"General," Poe stated on his approach.

"General," Finn responded. He rolled his eyes and huffed, that smile still stuck on his face despite the dreadful feeling in his chest.

Poe stood next to him. The two looked out on the almost barren base. There were far fewer ships and people milling about now.

Ajan Kloss felt different.

"That was the last transport," Poe said. Out of the corner of his eye, Finn could see Poe look away from the base and to him. Poe's eyes seemed to look past Finn himself, and into his head and heart. It felt like Poe could actually see the fear fixing itself in Finn's mind.

Finn met the general's soft gaze. "What," Finn said in a tone just above a whisper.

"You seem... preoccupied," Uttered Poe. "You're thinking about something, I can see it."

"You can see it?" Finn laughed and broke eye contact, even though he knew it was true. Poe could see right through him.

"Yeah, you get this.." Poe pantomimed some obscure impression of cogs turning with his hands. "Look on your face when your thinking. It looks... painful. Is it painful for you, Finn?" Poe joked.

Finn shook his head. He uncrossed his arms and ran his hands across his face. He was so tired. As his hands fell to his side, Poe grabbed one of them. He held it tenderly.

"Finn," Poe whispered. "What?" Poe's face was beautifully concerned. His eyes pleaded with Finn to uncover what was bothering him so much that he had barely been able to enjoy the celebrations.

"Come 'ere," Finn sighed. He tugged on Poe's hand, pulling the man closer to him. Poe nestled into the side of Finn's body, wrapping one hand around the ex-stormtrooper's waist and using the other one to caress Finn's cheek. Poe lightly pulled Finn's face towards him and planted a kiss on the side of it. They rested their head's against each others.

"I'm so scared," Finn stated. "All the time, Poe, I'm so scared that everything we did, all the people we lost..." Finn's voice broke. He fought back tears. "I'm so scared that it was for nothing. That some other group of bullies is just gonna start it all all over again. And then, did we even win at that point? Does it even _matter_ that we tried so hard and _so_ many people died." Tears streamed quietly down Finn's face. His breathed hitched with devastation and Finn wiped his weary eyes. 

"Hey," Poe said. He pulled his head away from Finn's and turned so that he could fully see his face. "We won, Finn. And even if it's just for now, we still won. Live in your victory, buddy."

Finn gave half a smile. It was nice to hear such kind words from Poe.

"Come on," Poe nodded his head down towards one of the shelters. "I think Maz was whipping something up for dinner in the mess hall."

Poe grinned and started moving away from Finn, their hands interlaced. But Finn didn't budge and he was stopped in his tracks, Finn's arm tethering him to that spot. Finn looked up at Poe who studied him with a look of confusion on his face.

Finn then moved from his spot underneath the Falcon and took the few steps to Poe. He gripped Poe's hand as he put his other around Poe's neck and pulled the pilot into him. Their lips met, and Finn could feel the dread in his heart fade into the background. All that mattered was him and Poe in that moment and that they won, even if it was just for now... This wasn't the first time they had kissed, there was that time on D'Qar, and then just recently back on Kef Bir, and all those other little moments in between thoughts and behind people's back. Finn recalled how annoyed and frustrated he was with Poe on Kef Bir, but he couldn't not kiss him before he left. Poe always knew when something was wrong and he was always there for Finn. No matter what. 

Finn pulled away. He suddenly became very embarrassed and he didn't know why. The pilot made him blush. Finn smiled and opened his mouth to speak but before he could, Poe, standing slightly taller on his toes, reunited their mouths. Finn smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Poe's body. 

When they parted again, Poe winked. There was no need for words. He then began to walk away from Finn once more, a beacon of all that was good in Finn's life. Finn suddenly felt something else nagging at his heart. It wasn't that dread he had been experiencing earlier. It was something light, that made him feel as if his feet were lifting off the ground. It was something... different. 

"Poe!" Finn spoke up, wrestling with the airy feeling. Poe turned back.

"What?" He asked once more, sounding almost annoyed but Finn could see that his eyes were full of compassion and genuine amazement at the man who stood before him. Finn's heart raced. 

"I love you, Poe." Finn blurted out.

Poe gave a short huff and moved back up to Finn. "I know." He took his hand once more. "Now can we go please? I'm starving, Finn."

Finn laughed and followed his pilot down to the mess hall. Ajan Kloss, and Finn, felt different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bitches be like homosexual. i might add another part to this, not sure if i wanna keep it as a one shot or not. please lmk if you liked it. :))


	2. Home

Finn and Poe sat across from Rey at an isolated table in the mess hall, BB-8 buzzing away at their feet. Every once and a while, the droid would beep at Rey or Poe and they would throw something for him to retrieve. Silly droid.

Here, you could see the other few stragglers from the resistance. Maz Kanata floated from table to table checking in on the remaining few. She sternly insured that everyone was taken care of. Finn had heard a few rumors that she was taking a handful of resistance fighters with her back to Takodana- the ones whose homes had been destroyed by the First Order during the fighting. 

Suddenly, Finn thought, he was just like those people Maz was taking in. He had nowhere to go now that the war was over. He had no home. Before all this, he had been a storm trooper and his home was where ever the First Order needed him. A Star Destroyer, an outer rim planet, Star Killer Base, you name it- FN-2187 was there. Finn was trying desperately to hold onto the aforementioned light feeling in his heart, but since the war had stopped and his mind had been given the opportunity to slow down and stop chasing battles, Finn began to uncover the trauma from being a stormtrooper for all those years. 

Finn rested his spoon on the edge of his bowl and pushed it away from him. Next to him, BB-8 returned with a piece of crushed metal and dropped it at Poe's feet. Poe chuckled and began praising the droid. Finn stared down into his half empty bowl and sighed.

Rey looked across the table at her friend. Finn could tell she sensed his loneliness and she reached out a hand. Her touch alarmed Finn and he looked up at her. 

"Am I really that obvious?" Finn lamented.

Without turning away from BB-8 Poe responded, "Yes. You are." 

Finn grumbled and allowed his head to fall down on his arms. Rey tightened her grip on his hand. He knew he had been down in the dumps recently but until Poe had confronted him earlier, and now with Rey catching on, he didn't know his friends had been so aware of it.

"I-I'm sorry guys," Finn started from his position. "I'm just, I-" Finn was at a loss for words. He didn't know how he could describe this homesickness when he had never even had a proper home. How would Rey and Poe understand anyways- they both grew up in one place. Even Rey, who had been so lonely her whole life, had Jakku to call her home. Let alone Poe, who grew up safely with a good father _and_ a mother on Yavin 4. 

Finn lifted his head slightly. He rested his chin on top of his folded arms and looked up at Rey who was kindly smiling down at him.

"It's alright Finn," She said. She scrunched up her nose and gave Finn a wide grin. She then folded her arms in front of her and mimicked Finn's stance with her chin resting on top of them. "Pst!" She called, looking at Poe who was still fussing with BB-8. Finn felt her kick him underneath the table. 

Poe chucked the scrap metal once more as far as he could and BB-8 went rolling after it. The pilot then turned to his friends, his beautiful brown eyes full of confusion and annoyance with Rey. He raised his arms in question and let out a small, "Whaaat?" 

Rey nodded to Finn, and then motioned her eyes to her own body language. Poe looked back and forth between the two a couple times before catching on. He quickly assumed the same stance. 

"So is this like what we do now or-" Poe wondered comically. 

"Shhhh," Rey hushed. "Close your eyes." Rey shut her eyelids. 

'Wh-" Poe started again but Finn gave him a glare and raised his brows as if to say ' _Do what she says.'_ Poe obeyed, and Finn too shut his eyes. 

He could feel it.

The Force, Finn guessed, radiating strongly off of Rey but definitely still flowing both he and Poe. Something binding him, and Rey, and Poe together in that moment. It had always been there, he was pretty sure that's how they all met in the first place. The Force had guided each of them into each others lives because the Resistance stood no change without the three of them combined. Finn was sure of that. 

This force was a happy, comforting, feeling. It was different from the love he had for Poe or Rey respectively. It was just their bond. 

Finn opened his eyes.He looked at his two friends. Rey looked so peaceful with her eyes shut. It was good to see her happy again, because Finn could sense that she too was suffering from the trauma of whatever happened on Exegol. And Poe looked... constipated almost. His eyebrows were ruffled and he looked to be in deep thought. Finn laughed silently. He knew that Poe was nowhere near as Force Sensitive as he or Rey were, but Finn's boyfriend still tried so hard and that was completely worth it. 

Finn unfolded his arms and placed either hand on the backs of Rey and Poe. Rey opened her eyes slowly, while Poe snapped awake. He seemed relieved to be free of having to channel the Force. 

"You guys are my family," Finn choked out. "The two of you... you are my home. Because... I've never had a home before and I've never not been fighting," He looked to Poe, acknowledging their previous conversation. "And I've always been running to or from something my whole life. A-and.... I just wanted to tell you guys that... I will _never_ run from either of you," He locked eyes with them. "Because- you are my home." 

From the distance BB-8 came dashing back, the scrap metal in his grabber. He dropped it at Poe's feet and gave a whirr. 

"Beebeeait wants to know if he is included in your home," Poe translated. 

Finn maneuvered around Poe to pick up the metal. "Yes you are you silly little ball," Finn responded lightly. He then threw the metal weakly, only halfway across the mess hall and the droid beeped again before speeding away. 

"He says calling him a ball is offensive and that he knows a Wookie who would gladly take your arms off for that." Poe repeated back. 

Finn blinked. "Really?" 

"Nah," Poe said turning back to Finn. He took Finn's hand in his own and gave it a light squeeze. "I'm just makin that up, Beebee says thank you, Finn." 

Finn and Rey both laughed. Finn pulled Poe in for a hug and placed a tender kiss on the pilot's cheek. The three of them then went back to their now slightly colder meals. 

Finn took a deep breath and studied his two friends once more. 

_'Home,'_ He thought. _'I'm finally home.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it bothers me that no one ever really thinks about how finn is legit homeless,,,


	3. You Are My Song

Finn was humming again.

He couldn't help it! Every time he focused, soft tones floated through his sealed lips as he tried to concentrate on the task before him. He didn't know the origin of the song he sang, though. It was something that came from deep in his soul. Maybe it was something his mother had sung to him from before he had been a stormtrooper-- at least that's what he liked to think. 

Using the Force wasn't supposed to be this hard, Rey had told him. It was supposed to flow through you with ease. Singing definitely helped Finn channel it, but he always somehow wound up distracted. 

"Finn!" 

Yup. Distracted. 

Finn's song stopped and his body released, his tense posture falling into itself. Finn opened his eyes, annoyed, to see Rey and the forest of Ajan Kloss before him. She was sitting with her legs crossed, and for a moment Finn could have sworn Rey was hovering just a couple centimeters above the ground. She opened her eyes and with out moving her head, looked to see the nuisance-- more commonly known as Poe Dameron. 

As he rounded the top of a small hill, Finn could see guilt crawl across the pilot's face. Poe must have realized that Finn and Rey were practicing, or at least trying to. He stopped mid-step and his face fell. 

"Oh-" He muttered. Poe took a step back down the path he had come in on, clearly embarrassed of his intrusion. "Oh, sorry. Sorry I didn't know you... sorry-" Poe continued retreating backwards. 

Finn sensed the unease in him and suddenly felt the urge to reach out to the man. "Poe, it's fine," Finn responded. He wasn't even that annoyed with Poe, he was more frustrated with himself in all honesty. 

"No, I-" Poe fully turned around to face the trail, barely even talking over his shoulder. "I-I'll just go, I'm clearly interrupting. So I'll just go, it's alright. It's fine." 

"Poe!" Finn called again. He desperately wanted Poe to come back and just be with him while he trained. Poe being around was just as good as the song Finn hummed, and sometimes even better. 

The pilot murmured something else, but he was already halfway back to base and Finn couldn't hear. Finn then looked to Rey, pleading with his face to go after Dameron and for forgiveness for cutting their training short. 

Rey sighed, a hint of amusement in her eyes. "Go on," She said. 

In an instant, Finn's legs were uncrossed and he was chasing after Poe. Finn dashed down the tiny path, fighting past twigs and branches. He ran until he caught a glimpse of Poe's curly dark hair bouncing up and down as Poe tromped away.

"Hey," Finn called, but Poe didn't stop.

Finn reached out his hand and clutched a single finger on Poe's hand, causing Poe to stop abruptly. The sun was starting to set on Ajan Kloss, and from it's position on the horizon it casted blueish shadows across Dameron's face as he turned to face Finn. Poe puffed air out his nose. 

"Hey," Finn repeated again, this time much softer. "What was that about back there?" 

Poe cleared his throat, and ran a hand through his hair. "You guys were clearly in the middle of something and I didn't want to interrupt, so I'm just gonna head back to base see if anyone, maybe Maz, needs any help packing o-or..." He trailed off on a list of things he could be doing. 

"But I told you it was fine...?" Finn responded, confused. Poe usually listened to him, more than anyone had ever listened to Finn in his whole life, so this was a concerning turn in his personality. 

"Yeah but you know," Poe threw a hand in the air, almost dismissing Finn. "You guys are doing your Jedi stuff and I don't want to distract o-or ya know... I-I know how important this is to you, Finn, so," He gulped. Poe placed a hand on his hip nervously and actively avoided Finn's gaze. 

There was something else Poe wasn't saying, Finn could feel it. This wasn't like him to be so dismissive and juvenile. He, Finn, could sense... well he couldn't quite place it. It was almost like Poe was-- scared? 

"Poe are you," Finn started, resisting the urge to shut his eyes and hum along to the rhythm of Poe's psyche. "Are you scared? Of something..." He squinted. The answer was right there, just below the surface. "O-of the Force? Of me and Rey's training?" That was it! Finn had latched onto Poe's unease and could now see it all before him. "Y-you are! You're scared. Of us... o-of _me_..." He realized. Finn looked up at Poe. 

Poe Dameron was mad now, in addition to afraid. His eyebrows were set devilishly downwards and his eyes stabbed straight through Finn. "Don't," He managed. "Do _not_ do that to me." His voice was barely audible but the intensity was still there, picking Finn apart with every syllable. "I am off limits, okay? You do _not_ get to go rummaging through my head. _Ever,"_

"Poe, I'm sorry, I didn't mean- sometimes it just happens! It's not my fault!" Finn tried to explain. The apologies started flooding out of his mouth like an un-dammed rapid. The 'sorry's and 'I love you's and 'please's flew from his mouth, but none of them landed on Poe as he started walking away again.

But then, Poe stopped so abruptly Finn thought his heart might explode. 

Finn could see Poe take a deep, deep, inhale in the middle of the pathway. A half step at a time, Poe faced Finn once more. In the blue hues of the evening, Poe's fallen face was now illuminated. He had never looked so defeated, so helpless. Finn instantly wanted to take his words and force them all back into his mind. 

"I don't," Poe's voice, and Finn's heart, cracked. 

_'Oh god, oh god'_ Finn thought. _'I went to far, this is bad.'_

"I don't know, Finn." The pilot said. "I'm not actually scared of you I just-" He stopped in thought, his breath paused tediously in his chest. "The Jedi stuff... the _Force._ That-- that scares me! What it can do, what _you_ can do with it... y-yes, it scares me, Finn. It scares me to death." 

The final consonants of Poe's words hung in the air as if they were ready to strike anyone down in an instant. And Finn wasn't quite sure, but underneath the indigo shadows, a rogue tear may have streaked down Poe's cheek. 

"Is it because of-" Finn began cautiously. He knew the answer to his question because he had already seen it in Poe's head, but he was hesitant to show all his cards. 

"Yes! Okay?" Poe exclaimed. "It's because of Kylo, because of what he did to me." Poe admitted. "It was _terrifying_ , Finn, to have someone just sift through your head so easily, without your consent o-o-or your knowledge. And every time he did it I could feel it. I could feel him pulling out little pieces of me and tossing them aside like they were nothing. I was his puppet-- his god damn tool, and I couldn't do anything about it! I couldn't-- I cou-" Poe sniffled. The words were barely making it out of his mouth. 

"Poe..." Finn couldn't think of an appropriate response. 

Poe wiped his face with the side of his sleeve. "It's fine," He coughed. "I'm fine." 

"No," Finn said. He stepped closer to Poe, reaching out a hand that gently hold his face. "It's not fine, and you are not fine." Stated Finn. "But that's okay, eh? We can work on that, we can fix it. I'm here for you, Poe, whatever you need, I'm here for you." Finn's voice seemed to put Poe at ease because he could feel the man almost dissolve into his hand. 

Still sniffling, Poe responded, "Please just-- Just be careful. For me, okay? Just be safe, and patient, and listen to Rey. And don't be fucking stupid, Finn." Both Poe and Finn laughed. "Okay?" 

"Okay." Finn repeated. He brushed away a tear that had fallen on Poe's face with his thumb and pulled his forehead near. Finn kissed Poe tenderly on the forehead and sighed. "Do you wanna come watch?" He asked, trying to tip toe around Poe's sensitivities. "I actually like having you around when I'm practicing. You're like my song," 

"Your song?" Poe wondered.

"Oh never mind," Finn shook his head. He interlaced his fingers with Poe's and the pair set off back towards Rey. "You're going to figure it out sooner or later," 


End file.
